I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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