Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i came on her dog
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
