used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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