that's an acceptable place to lick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
