Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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