I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
