He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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