quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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