Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
