I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
