He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
