No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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