why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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