I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
