everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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