we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
