end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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