i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
