we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
