To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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