I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
