You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
