I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
