It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
