I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
