how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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