I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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