Can i not drive my cunt home
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
