I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
