Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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