he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
