Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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