Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
