i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
