Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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