hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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