only if we run a train.
done.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
