talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
