I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Still dying that you shit outside
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
