Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
