we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
