If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
