You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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