We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
