WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
