i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
