jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
