youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
