I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
