There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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