you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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