What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
